This is a fast post to outline my day and pretend to be busy so it is understood why this isn’t a real post.
Today I:
- was confused for about three hours over what time my clock read in my room
- attended a book sale at the public library. I also judged all of the people who had multiple boxes of books on hand carts
- watched three hours of Fringe on Hulu.com
- did three loads of laundry
- went to the grocery store where I bought three containers of yogurt
- am going to support three great people at a play tonight
In case you were wondering, the three thing was totally unintentional. However, now that I’ve noticed it, I may need to find three boys to flirt with tonight. :)
Night photos.
They are my current “I can so accomplish this” thing. Pretty much it goes like this, my point and shoot was horrible when it came to night pictures and it was like the success of a lifetime if one turned out. Now that my SLR camera entered my life, it’s totally a different story. Except for one problem, I have started to finally get shooting manually and shooting on manual in the dark is a whole nother beast. Like whoa.
So without further ado, four images that prove that me and night photography has a long, long, long way to go. The above picture was one good, out of about 20 bad. 1/20, now those are odds I can maintain.
No need to get your eyes checked, cause that my friend, is blurry times five hundred. We’ll see if this continues onward, or if I’l just go back to photographing food only.
So while at work I had this mass idea that I wanted to blog.
It was deep. It was exciting. It was thrilling. I think there were photos involved.
I have no idea what the heck it was.
Maybe I’ll figure it out later.
So this may in fact be the only picture from my birthday (which was a couple of weeks ago), that I’m allowing to be online.
It was a long weekend and there were a lot of emotions, some of them not that positive but some of them fantastic. The above picture comes from the platter that I prepared for s’mores night in our backyard (after 3 hours of cleaning our house, but there is no lingering annoyance there) :)
Photos that the world is missing out on, but I get to enjoy on a regular basis:
- H’s hair flipped over her face, I have no idea if she was drinking
- Me on the floor…hugging a vodka bottle (I’ve been lonely, don’t judge)
- A tractor of sorts
- A Future lawyer, the cover of night, and that same tractor with a now open door
So many things that could have been captured, so many things that shouldn’t have ended up on film (or technically Compact Flash Card), and yet so may hysterical moments.
Today included elections that were important to several people I know. But really…what I want to highlight…
CNN’s new election pundit: Ari Fleischer
My love for him is huge. Like the man may have been the reason I went into politics. I may have also admitted this to my roommates tonight when Ari’s fantastic bald head appeared on screen. I may also be mocked for quite sometime about this now, because as my roommate said “most kids loved JTT, but not [W] she loved Ari.”
Fact.
A part of my life was compared to a scene in Little Women, I would feel proud of this because I love Alcott like a lot but in fact it wasn’t a positive comparison. It was one of those comparisons that pretty much tells you that like every character in the book/movie/play/musical…you’re not getting it.
That is really nothing that I can solve on my own, and the person who could help is so not allowed to be involved. So we fast forward to the Sunday evening insanity, we skip a gripe session about my frustrations with peoples inability to follow through on commitments and fast forward again to my shouting match with God.
Oh yes, I went there…and I took it all the way.
And in a moment of cosmic smackdown, when I thought my anger was righteous and my frustration was justified (I believe it went something like, “I never wanted this and I said you could take it back”), I was knocked off of my high horse. Cause in the quiet and the stillness, in the place where I’m scared to trust and take risks, I found myself with one thought… “for in my weakness…Your power is made perfect.”
Let me tell you, it was like having the wind knocked from my sails. And in a deep moment of calm, I remember the awesome things. I set aside my current needs to mold life into a neat and tidy box. Because in imperfection…there is greatness.
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (niv)
Today starts National Blog Posting Month.
This is a month where bloggers are challanged to post daily.
This is a month that I’m bound to fail before the end of week one.
Isn’t it sad that this is my intro post to NaBlPoMo. What’s even worse is the start of my lungs after being sick since Wednesday. It’s gross, don’t imagine it. It’ll revert to normal posts when I can breath normal breaths again.
Risk. It’s not just a board game that I’ve never played; it’s a word that is getting thrown around a lot lately, in both the real word and the pretend world of the television.
So since this is attempting to be more thought out and less tangent, it’s going to be grounded by the OED (Oxford English Dictionary), where we can get a pretty clear definition of the word:
“RISK: • noun 1 a situation involving exposure to danger. 2 the possibility that something unpleasant will happen. 3 a person or thing causing a risk or regarded in relation to risk: a fire risk. • verb 1 expose to danger or loss. 2 act in such a way as to incur the risk of. 3 incur risk by engaging in (an action). — PHRASES at one’s (own) risk taking responsibility for one’s own safety or possessions. run (or take) a risk (or risks) act in such a way as to expose oneself to danger. — ORIGIN Italian risco ‘danger’, French risque.“
People always say that life is about taking risks. You can’t get ahead if you don’t take risks.
I. Hate. Risk-taking.
So as this comes as a two-fold thought process and let’s start with the non-reality point which is, I was watching Greek last night and the statement was made, “I had the opportunity… and I didn’t want to risk it.” When an abcfamily show is speaking into actual life situations, it may be a sign that your life has been a bit melodramatic. Or it’s just reiterating what is already on my mind. How often do we ignore things because it’s easier, and thus, how many things do we miss out on because we refuse to act.
My co-worker recently got engaged, something that both thrills and depresses me all at the same time (yes, that latter is about the worst thing you could say about someone’s engagement…so no need for anyone to point out what I already know). It’s not so much of a depression cause I wish it were me, but it’s because of a comment that she made when telling someone about how they met and started to interact, which went something along the lines of “I knew I could put myself out there and take a big risk.” How often do we know the joys that could come from taking a risk, but we decide against it cause we are scared of the potential of hurt.
This goes back to a moment in March, when I had posted a C.S. Lewis quote from the Four Loves, and in the mood I was in, my focus was primarily on the first part of the passage, but looking back it’s been good to focus in on the passage on a whole:
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”
It’s the same with life, because as cliche as it may sound love and life cannot be separated. I try not to speak for others when I say, it’s so easy to shut your thoughts and emotions up in a box so that no one can mock them or scoff at your ideas, or really just hurt you. I hide things. This is common knowledge that I would rather keep my thoughts and actions to myself. It’s safe and it’s easy, as it is without the hurt from outside pain, however, being safe doesn’t leave your heart immune to hurt and brokenness for as the passage stated “it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
I look to the things that I am scared to take a risk on: relationships, the future (school, jobs, possibly relocation to another city), friendships, etc, and I challenge others to do the same. Because when it comes down to it, life is lived through risks and with such risks comes success and comes failure. Wouldn’t we rather experience the goodness of life rather then becoming hardened as we hide away our souls in a coffin of selfishness.
There is that day when you write a blog post and pray that no one will in actually read it. And then you look back and see it’s gotten the most hits out of any other post in a while. Oops.
So instead it’s time for a photo post.
Over Columbus Day weekend, there was a mass trip to the “family estate and vineyard compound.” Pretty much it was my parents bribing my friends to help harvest grapes.
It was an awesome time. One-hundred and seventy-one lugs of grapes were collected by a group of people that I adore.
I mean all in all…a wonderful long weekend.**
**we won’t note that my nervous breakdown started on Monday :)
