You are currently browsing the monthly archive for January, 2008.
So the NY Times (my favorite all-day work distraction) had a post based on Pollan’s new book In Defense of Food, where the tad line reads “Eat Food. Not too much. Mostly Plants.” So, the columnist decided to have a competition to see if people could write equally sound advice in the same seven word 2+3+2 pattern. Pretty much it’s the most fantastic thing ever and got more than 1200 responses (and of course, I read all of them…at work). Here are some of my favorites.
#17. Love eggs. Eat ice cream. Check cholesterol. #27. Sing loudly. Ignore cruel comments. Keep singing. #32. Drink wine, not too much, mostly red. #33. Ate plants. A big heap. Still hungry. #42. Going up? Use the stairs. Every day. #63. move forward. don’t look back. eat cheese. #73. Lick salt. Toss back shot. Bite lime. #81. Express yourself. In condensed haiku. Extreme miniaturization. #103. Get exercise. Frequent and Regular. With sweat. #138. Wear clothes. Not too many. Mostly spandex. #149. Be kind. Call your mother. Don’t forget! #191. No white. After Labor Day. Faux pas. #199. Think Globally. Make A Difference. Act Locally. #238. Sound wise. Talk like Yoda. You must. #248. Use mascara. Not too much. Get waterproof. #277. Accept him. Or dump him. Relationship fixed. #289. Combine ingredients. Bring to boil. Cover, simmer. #330. Think Now, Exercise Your Vote, Make History! #335. Be spontaneous! Run dangerously fast! Avoid trees. #350. Eat pie. Very good pie. Not often. #444. Eat pie. You deserve it. Three slices. #450. Go ahead. Kiss a frog! Be surprised. #518. Look left. And look right. Taxis don’t. #570. Make cookies. Oatmeal chocolate chip. Watch disappearance. #652. Google yourself. Not too often. Quotations help.Bathe frequently. Scrub all over. Use soap. #652B. “In Bed.” Improves your fortune. Almost always. #652C. Exercise frequently. Drink water often. No Spandex. #1308. Buy shoes. In many colors. All heels.
The winners were recently posted as well. More later on actually life
This is absurd. This election cycle, I am so over it/done with it/wishing it over (pick whatever phrase sums up that annoyance). But this takes the cake (had to get the word cake in there for sake of blog consistency).
So yesterday, Ted Kennedy endorsed Obama. I mean, great for Obama and all that jazz. But here is my issue, supposed that move triggered the end of feminism, or so says the NY chapter of NOW. So because a man in the democratic party endorsed another man…feminism gone. Well I might as well quit my job, find a man, and set myself up to be barefoot and pregnant in a kitchen somewhere (preferably making mini pies/tarts). But for real, people are astounded that the “sisterhood vote” isn’t coming out for Clinton, all I have to say is that she shouldn’t count herself so special. Because there are lots of members of the “sisterhood” that I wouldn’t vote for: that girl is high school that loved all things male, the girl in college that was “involved” with her neighbor while still speaking sweetly to her bf on the phone every night, the woman who don’t understand the concept of women being independent from men, the woman that doesn’t get why women are still okay with marriage…I mean the list goes on and on. But I mean, on the same vein, there are a lot (and whoa I mean a lot) of men that I would joke for either. We won’t even start that list cause that one wold never end.
When people vote, they (should) look for a candidate that summarizes what they want for their country (based on issues). And when it comes down to it, you should wish you could run a campaign with a blindfold over America’s eyes. Cause it shouldn’t matter if the candidate is white, black, mixed, asian, male, female, tall or short…really it’s all about the issues, something that this election cycle left behind somewhere in the wake of Iowa
So the mini-pie/tart madness was a tad crazy last night…especially when I realized that my muffin pan was missing. I had several reactions, but the best one was the one that led me to my neighborhood overpriced kitchy kitchen store to buy a new muffin pan (oh, and a tamper…cause who doesn’t need a tamper). But I digress (what a shock there). Needless to say, these little gems are the best thing ever…so cute, so little, so yummy. (And you know that you want to see them).
Thus, my beautiful entry into the Mini Pie Revolution Contest: Small Tarts Have Big Hearts. There are so many jokes we can make about this, the fact that they are yummy baked goods (which are so me) or the usage of the word tart…so many fabulous uses with that one :)
Well, today my mom and I came to a not to startling conclusion. I think I chose the wrong life calling (cause a PA in the government is a life calling). It’s all about FOOD…talking about it, writing about it, describing it, maybe even occasionally making it. And I now have a new obsession. Cup Pies, or mini-pies (call them what you will, I’m in love).
In honor of National Pie Day (come on, you knew it was NPD too), I started pondering how to best construct a pie to bring to the office, otherwise I’ll eat the entire thing by myself alone in my apartment. And it hit…mini-pies made in a muffin tin. Mind you, this thought required a call home to mom to be like “Mom, can I make pies in a muffin tin?” And her responding, “Don’t you do work at work?” In the end she said yes. But still I was hesitant, cause the pie I’m making is made with a fantabulous vodka pie crust and is filled with and even yummier maple-nutmeg joy. Pretty much, I’ve made it one before with fantastic results, and we can’t have round 2 fail…it just isn’t done that way. And then the jackpot hit, care of Serious Eats, an entire article devoted to the mini-pie, or as I have come to learn the Cup Pie (which seriously is about the cutest name ever).
And then, I thought is couldn’t get any better (although it is evidenced by my still typing/and you still reading), it did. So so so much better. Because I got to discover, The Mini Pie Revolution. An entire blog devoted to my fledgling obsession, and wait…there is more. Because lo and behold, it was a sub story-line on Pushing Daisies. I mean all signs are pointing me in the direction of the Cup Maple-Nutmeg Pies/Tarts…especially since the Mini Pie Revolution is having a “mini-tart” competition, I am nothing if not competitive (and there is the added benefit that it can be used as the office baked good of the week). For the competition I have to make the tarts, put a photo up here, and then email the link on over to the Mini Pie people…I wonder if they’ll let me leave work early to go and bake? Hmmm?
Oh the beautiful, wonder of a three day weekend. So, I always know when life has been stressing me out because of the amount of stuff that ends up coming home with me. Today it was a bag from Kate Spade (new organizer), essentials from the Gap…and then UPS popped by with a J.Crew box, and DHL left a “oops, we missed you” notice for new hand lotion from Crabtree & Evelyn. Let’s just say, I finally realized that maybe my stress levels aren’t where they should be…(and from the appearance of everything I bought, neither is my bank account).
But on a good note, the J.Crew box included the dress that was expected not to zip over my chest, but thanks to a small rib cage, it fits! I may have done a happy dance around my apartment in excitement…let’s just say: today may be the highlight of the weekend. (Mind you it also comes with the, oh I’m never eating a cookie again in order to still be able to zip the dress up). And how sad would no cookies or cake be in my life, or in the lives of others.
So, besides the typical better my life through diet, exercise and non more dwelling on boys…I have also complied a “list” of snarky article quotes to distract myself from the latter (cause I have a problem, which is clear in everything I type).
But these fun tidbits are much like the ones I hope to one day write myself:
First, from Newsweek:
“Shiona then tells Shadow Bear how she once read about ferrets in a book she took from the study of her father. “I discovered they are related to minks and otters. It is said their closest relations are European ferrets and Siberian polecats,” she says. “Researchers theorize that polecats crossed the land bridge that once linked Siberia and Alaska, to establish the New World population.”
Ohmygod that is so hot….
Wow, that is some bad dialogue. It stands out as clunky and awkward even by the standards of romance novels. That’s because Edwards didn’t write it. I did.”
Second, from the New York Times:
““How’s the strike treating you guys?” people ask, with sympathetic faces. My husband, Jeremy, and I were television writers before we were professional picket-line walkers. “Not good,” we reply, stumbling after our two 90-pound boxers. I’m starting to think that when they say, “How’s the strike?” they really mean, “Would it kill you to shower?”
I didn’t stop grooming all at once. Although Writers Guild of America T-shirts don’t flatter the female form, I tried to pull myself together Monday through Thursday. Fridays, reserved for mass rallies to raise our flagging spirits, required extra thought. Sneakers or hiking shoes? White thermal or blue?
These rallies are like super-saturated high school reunions. Every writer you’ve ever worked with or slept with, admired or betrayed — they’re all there. At the first one, I elbowed my way through the crowd and right into my nemesis, who beamed at me artificially. “Anna, how are you?” She looked over my baggy ensemble, probably wondering if I was just fat or actually pregnant, and how long into my maternity leave she could steal my job.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/18/opinion/18fricke.html
And third, also from the NY Times:
“Cloverfield” is nominally a monster movie, but mostly it’s a feature-length gimmick. It opens with some official-looking United States government text claiming that the following images were retrieved from what was once known as Central Park. The big (or rather only) idea here is that almost everything we subsequently see is the presumably unedited video material shot by Hud, who, though initially reluctant to pick up the camera, develops a mania for documentation once the monster strikes. So consummate is his dedication to his version of cinéma vérité that he keeps the camera plugged to his eye even while he’s running through hailstorms of debris, trying to cross a fast-collapsing bridge and witnessing friends melt down, bleed out and even die.
Certainly this straw-grasping seemed the most charitable way to explain characters whose lack of personality (“This is crazy, dude!”) is matched only by their incomprehensible stupidity. Smart as Tater Tots and just as differentiated, Rob and his ragtag crew behave like people who have never watched a monster movie or the genre-savvy “Scream” flicks or even an episode of “Lost” (Hello, Mr. Abrams!), much less experienced the real horrors of Sept. 11.
Rarely have I rooted for a monster with such enthusiasm.”
So, how do most normal people deal with their “how do I ask Boy out to lunch” dilemma…well let me suggest not doing it the way I did. How did I do it you may wonder, well I ate a 3 course meal (after having a respiratory infection and pretending not to really each much since Monday). Now I just feel like a cow, which leads to the thought of, ”well I can’t ask him to lunch now because obviously I’m hiding my feeling with food and if i feel like a cow I may be starting to look like a cow and I don’t take rejection well.” Yep, crazy logic…that’s why I have a college degree (it’s cause of thinking and rationalization like that…skill I tell you).
So today was going to be a lovely day, 2 people back to work after 2 weeks on travel, it was going to snow…
…Well snow it did, people did come back, lovely day however, it so far is not. I’m far to passive aggressive to have a normal, fully-functional life (oh heavens, cause the web needs another passive-agressive blogger). But problems at work came up, and supposedly I was at the root of them, and it legitimately wasn’t my fault. And while most people say that and it isn’t true, I swear I’m so right about this one. Now I’m more concerned that this office person may bring harm to me when they return from what should have been a very happy weekend.
But back to happier things, so yesterday was fabulous! Pretty much being gross and sick was overcome by bestowing baked goods upon some fabulous people. Because when it comes down to it, my mom told me to make friends by baking (although that recently has been revised to, go out and bake and maybe you’ll find a man). I mean I am all for the babies and the man (like now), but I mean for serious…22, mom, and I can’t get a date to save my life. But I am at least baking, for people of the opposite gender…kind of.
In the beginning there was light…and then somewhere way down the road a blog was born…and then way down that road, this one was brought into this internet world.
I feel like the beginning post always has to hit the majors: who in the world are you, where are you, and why in heavens name are you blogging. We’re going to skip that first one for now, say that I’m on the East Coast for the second one…and then ponder that latter one.
So, not to sugar coat this at all, but blogging is trendy. And I have enough pent up frustration and pseudo-creativity that I seem to think I should be able to have a trendy outlet like a blog. Pretty much, this could fail before it even takes off running. But I digress now…J.Crew, which sends about the happiest emails in the world (cause who doesn’t like hearing that the $170 dress they liked is on sale for $50 and then another 20% off), just sent another fantastic additional 20 % email. And needless to say all plans to type about how I’m off my diet due to the baked goods I made last night is off. Cause the color I want is only in the size I am aspiring to. So I’m buying the dress, for $39 in a size that probably won’t zip over my well endowed ‘endowment.’ That digression…maybe a $100 set back…the blogging should probably end before I change the title to “Pathetically Broke.”
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