One of those moments
Posts about how baking rocks, my love life suck and my friends are crazy…those are pretty normal. Also normal…the rants, but normally those our out of anger. Very rarely is it one of these, simply stated:
I’m tired.
I love my job, I love the work I’m doing (mostly cause I love making sure peoples’ lives run well). I’m exhausted this week, and it’s only Tuesday/Wednesday (12:45 am). When I’m tired I think a lot, cause my mind runs at a mile a minute. Overall, to repeat it again I’m physically, but mostly mentally and emotionally exhausted.
Mostly, the new stream of relationship questions, it’s too much. My mom, all through my being in college, used to use the line “so any boys?? Not that there should be because you are focused on school.” But now, oh now that graduation is done and a year has passed, no longer do people use the old horrid question “so what are you doing with you life?”…instead the new fun question “so any boys in your life?” And apparently, just saying no isn’t good enough, cause every conservative woman should have a man by the age of 22.
Well I’ve been giving the no answer, and to friends we all know that I can rant on instead of just saying, “oh no, no guy.” But because I leave it at no, I’m getting the fun follow up of, oh why not and advice for how I should meet boys, including not joining a women’s bible study group because you don’t meet men there. And seriously, in my exhausted “I don’t have a filter state” just burst out with the fact that I don’t care, and oddly enough…I’m trying not to care, because I care too much. But no matter what I say, it supposedly can all be remedied by straight hair, dropping 15 lbs and wearing make-up.
I’m not putting that kind of energy into something that I don’t think will work (cause it all goes back to being tired). If there is a guy out there for me, he’ll like me for my crazy hair, extra curves, and make-up hating ways…and I’ll hide him from my parents and their friends for a good amount of time. Because my sanity will be preserved.
