It’s only Tuesday and I’ve lost my mind

The problem with that header is the fact that I think I’ve had my mind for all these long years. But let’s be honest, it’s been gone for a while…a long long while. But clear signs are there that it is slipping further and further out of my grasp.

First reason: My boys…they all are leaving me [it's back row emptiness at church]. Mind you, not really leaving me, but that is what it seems like. Church Friend’s Roommate is moving overseas, which is quite sad. I’ve also become one of Church Friend’s relationship counselors, yes…relationship guru cause he is moving into a relationship with the sweetest girl ever [We are ignoring the fact that I who have never been in a relationship can in fact be a relationship guru]. Sketchy Law School/Church Friend is off working for the summer. I actually sat with girls on Sunday, it was a shock to my world. However, the London one may be coming home to me…and that would be lovely.

Second Reason: G told me to have a summer fling. I’m insane/normal enough that i would normally ponder it for a second. I shot her down…and it might be due to an inappropriate crush I claim to have moved on from, or it could be cause I just don’t care anymore. Either way…I laughed, I moved on, I laughed some more.

Third Reason: The interns have descended upon the office. It’s fantastic…it’s wonderful…it’s stressful beyond all belief. The last one, doesn’t really fit with all of my thoughts about how running the intern program should go. For example, now I am responsible for five (soon to be 9) people in the office. It’s crazy, it’s insane, it’s telling people they can’t get the interns smashed. Though that latter one is always up for debate, but only if I can check ID first :)

Fourth Reason: There is a girl with a crush on my seventeen year old brother. My mom claims it’s not so. The girl baked him two dozen cookies for his birthday. My mother still claims it’s not so. I for one, as the extreme cake thrower, know that she has a thing for him and if she didn’t want people to know about it, she should have been subtle about the baking. But obviously she had a target and whoa did she hit the mark, cause he likes her back. It’s cute, it’s young and it makes me a little ill. Yes, I am jealous over a young, teenage crush revolving around cookies. I mean I’ve been throwing baked goods for years and nothing, she’s fifteen and she strikes out once and is good. I have no words.

Fifth Reason: If the Democratic campaign doesn’t have one candidate by tomorrow, one…not two, not one and maybe one, not one and one on the VP short list…no, just one. I may scream. Cause I can’t do my job until there is one candidate. This is why my people…the conservative people, are just so much better. There was this episode of Brother’s and Sister’s that “talked about winner take all primaries” for the Republicans and how the Democrats “split their delegates so that no one gets their feelings hurt.” And while I think my party is nuts (what political party isn’t), I give them this…at least we settle on a candidate and don’t drag out the primary season until the very last possible moment (not like that actually means we agree with our candidate, but at least I haven’t had to deal with the pain my Democratic friends and coworkers are dealing with today.

Sixth Reason: I’m jealous of a fifteen year old. Seriously, I know I already touched on this, but seriously, I have hit the pathetic wall o’ ridiculousness. Yes, it’s cause I doubt my own ability to get a guy to see me for me…i.e. looking beyond the mom car, the mom purse, the mom mentality and the rest of the absurdity that comes in the package that is me. ‘Cause let’s be honest, who really wants to date someone that has the mother mentality, cause it’s just weird. But yes, for said reason I have gone home from work for the past few weeks and moped about my life.

Seventh Reason: The hidden away moping is out of control. End of Statement.

But in all of the absurdity, I’ve been rereading Charming, but Single…which is about the best writing you get in a personal blog. And let’s just say there has been some life awkwardness that has led to posts where the header is based on Pop Lyrics [never a good sign...I know I've been there]. But there was a great post that I probably related to a little more then others…and it read

“To those of you who think I’m fixating or wallowing: You are 100 percent correct. And for good reason. I’m going to fixate and wallow for as long as it takes to purge this. Because this isn’t about one man. This has been building for years and if you don’t want to watch it burst, I’d invite you to move right along. Or you could stick it out and wait with me. Who knows – I might surprise you. I may rise like a phoenix from the ashes of my bitter, cynical do-nothing-about-it spinsterdom. And then wouldn’t you feel mighty stupid for missing the heroine’s ultimate self-redemption? My point: Cut me some slack on the rambling posts to come and their (probably) pop song inspired titles. This is so much cheaper than therapy.”

I applaud Charming for typing out the sentiment, cause that is the point I often try to get to when I rant in blog posts. And she, being a better writer then I, got there in a much more comical and point blank manner. That last point though just brought to mind a fantastic moment where E told me I had two choices, jump off the dock or get a therapist. But it’s true, the blog is so much cheaper and it won’t reject me. :) Although, if little brother and cookie girl keep on in their disgustingly, cute, cookie-baking puppy love…I may go off the deep end and only the love of a good conservative boy would fix it, or a new purse…I’m not that picky. Just a warning.